No more plane rides for 2 months!

Well, I'm sad to say that my Brazil trip has come to an end. The good news is that I'm still in auditing for at least 2 more years so there is still time for them to send me back!

In order for my next story to make sense, I have to tell a little joke. 

A man is house sitting for his brother--feeding the cat, getting the mail, etc.  The brother calls to check in.

"I'm sorry," says the man, "but your cat died."

"What do you mean the cat died? How could you do this to me?  You should have prepared me for the shock," says the man's brother.  

"How was I supposed to prepare you?" asks the man.

"Well," says the brother, "first you should have told me, the cat is on the roof, but don't worry, we're calling the fire department.  Then, the next time we talked you should have said, the fire department was doing everything it could and not to worry.  Then the next time I called you can tell me that the cat had fallen, but not to worry--the vet was doing everything she could to resuscitate him.  Then, finally, you could have told me, the cat had died."

"Sorry, I should have though first" said the man, who was quite embarrassed at this point.

"So anyway how is mom?"

"Um," says the man, "Mom is on the roof...." 

I told that joke at dinner one night and apparently they have the same joke here but it has become almost  a common saying where your boss might ask "Are you almost done with those TPS reports I asked for?" and you would reply "The cat is on the roof." a.k.a. I haven't even started them.  

So during one of our status meetings, when our senior audit manager would ask how things are going, I wanted to reply-in Portuguese-"The cat is on the roof".   Unfortunately, I never found a good time to do it so the idea failed but for those of you who know how funny I think I am, please know I'm quite pleased with myself for even coming up with the joke.  It would have been even better if it has actually been executed.

We left work by 6:30 on Thursday because we were pretty much done (I felt bad b/c we only even stayed that late because I had a meeting from 5-6 that wasn't even audit related!). The exit meeting was planned for Friday morning. So I went back to my hotel, ate dinner, and then decided to kill some time on the internet and pack. When you buy internet at the hotel I'm staying at, you have to use it as soon as you buy it. I figured, play on the internet first, then pack. Unfortunately, I didn't know that before my 2 hours of internet had expired the power would go out and I would be left to pack in the dark. Thank goodness for my resourcefulness. I pulled up one of those "this page cannot be displayed screens" and used the white light to light the area around my suitcase which I had previously piled up with all the stuff I needed to pack. I have to say, when the lights came on about an hour and a half later I was already done and in reviewing my work, I have to say it looked pretty good.

My favorite waiter in the hotel has continued to give me a bottle of water every morning while I wait for my ride. I think I'm really going to miss him when I'm back in Midland. Other things I'm going to miss.

1. The dental floss in the bathroom.

2. The toilet seat covers that just have a heart cut out in the middle instead of that weird flappy thing you have to tear.

3. The delicious food that I was able to enjoy.

4. That guy in the elevator that I never saw again.

5. The day I got to have a bodyguard.

6. And of course, all the guys on my audit team! I can't remember another audit where I've laughed so much!

Of course, there is always the good with the bad. Here are some things I won't miss.

1. That game the guys play where they leave me in the conference room by myself.

2. Choosing my outfit for the day from a closet of 7 identical button down shirts (in different colors of course) and a dress.

3. Not being able to leave the hotel by myself. It was like having a curfew all over again!

Clearly the good outweighs the bad!

The plane ride home was pretty non-eventful.  I sat next to a guy who worked for John Deere.  He was friendly enough.  I don't think I mentioned that the guy on the way over worked for Goodyear.  Conveniently, 2 companies that I know almost nothing about.  The John Deere guy was from Kansas City and since I've been there, I did have some stuff to talk to him about so that was good.  I also watched the movie Enchanted which is not by any means an academy award winning movie but I secretly enjoy cheesy movies. 

My flight out of Chicago was delayed--shocking, I know.  But for the first time I ran into someone at the airport going to Midland that I actually knew!  You would think with Midland being so small, it would happen more often but it doesn't.  

Of course, the 70 degree weather that Midland had last week is gone and it was in the 50s for my return.  But it's supposed to creep back up during the week so I have a feeling summer will be here before too long!  I don't have any trips planned until July and that's my vacation to Turkey!  So, if you're looking for something to do this summer, now is the perfect time to come visit me!

I'm Becoming Quite the Sports Buff

So, though I've had some good times here in Sao Paulo, I think last night was my favorite time of all. Even better then the time I went shopping which is hard to beat.

Last night one of the guys on the team took me to a Brazilian Steakhouse called Fogo de Chao. It was absolutely DELICIOUS and quite overwhelming at the same time. For those of you who haven't been to one of these steakhouses before, basically you have this little card that's red on one side and green on the other. If it's green, then the waiters will constantly bring around these giant hunks of meet on spears and offer you slices. They also put little snacks in the middle but I only ate one piece of polenta and one cheese ball (which was also amazing) because really the meat is the best part. Sometimes they bring you stuff so fast that you don't even have time to eat what's already on your plate!
Some of the things I tried included meat from the hump of an ox (which I didn't know oxes had humps), ribs (which I've never had before b/c usually you see pork ribs), and I tried an ox heart which oddly enough has the same consistency as liver...and it's extremely small. I liked all except the heart. I probably could have done without that. They also have locations in Minneapolis, Houston, Chicago, and a new one coming to Indy!! Needless to say, my friends in those cities, you'll know where we'll be going when I come visit-but really, Ben if you're reading this, you're the only one of my friends in one of those cities who I think would actually go.

After eating an abundance of the delicious meats, we still found room for this delicious dessert. It was this papaya cream thing and it tasted heavenly. I don't know if they have that in the U.S. branches of this restaurant because it's apparently very Brazilian but I highly recommend it.

After dinner, we went to a soccer game for the Latin American Cup. It was at the Sao Paulo Futebol Club which is a huge stadium! Don't worry, I took pictures. I also took some videos but really, soccer on video is just as boring as soccer on tv. I prefer to watch it in person. The state of Sao Paulo's team played a team from Columbia and we won! I say "we" because I am officially of a supporter of the Sao Paulo team. I even have a jersey (although, I'm so confused with all this city of Sao Paulo, state of Sao Paulo things that I'm not sure who my jersey actually supports). But it does say my name on the back which I think is pretty sweet. I was very surprised that 90 minutes of soccer actually passed by really quickly and I actually had a lot of fun! The fans are pretty intense here. They have their own cheers and anything and unfortunately the only one I really caught on to was "Sao Paul-o!" The guy behind me was a hard core fan and was yelling things left and right! It was quite amusing. Unfortunately, he was also a spitter and I got sprayed a few times. Ew.


Other stories...

I think my hotel thinks they're pulling one over on me. A lot of times when I order stuff off the menu, they bring me something close to what it says but not quite. For instance, the other day I ordered onion soup and they brought me soup...but it had chicken and vegetables and rice in it. Monday night I ordered this meat thing with rice and mushrooms and it ended up a meat thing with mashed potatoes. I don't know if they think I don't notice or what exactly. And it's not that I'm messing up my order because when you eat at the same restaurant about 15 times you start to memorize what's on the menu. I've actually gotten so good that I actually know what's on the room service menu that's not on the normal menu and vice versa. Mad skills.

It's my last night in Sao Paulo! At 4pm tomorrow I'll be on my way to the airport, God willingly. Keep your fingers crossed that I end up next to a young, attractive, entrepreneur...and not another investment banker from California!

I Can See The Light

The saying says "Time flies when you're having fun" or like a t-shirt I saw this weekend "Time flies when you're having rum" but either way, I can't believe that I only have 4 days left in Brazil! This might be the only trip that I've been on that hasn't felt like it was 3 weeks long. Even the 2 weeks I spent in Illinois felt longer then this (but probably b/c we were getting up at the crack of dawn and it felt like it was 40 below every day).

Friday night I went to Happy Hour with 2 guys from the audit team. It was a nice way to unwind after a long week. Plus we talked about grad school and such and it's always nice to hear other peoples opinions. I also learned the history of Sao Paulo soccer. Way more then I probably ever wanted to know but later in the weekend when I got my jersey, the stuff they put on it made sense. Also, they were playing some killer videos on the screen in the bar including Bye Bye Bye by N'Sync and Mmm Bob by Hanson. Classic.

When I got back to the hotel I ran into my "hotel friend". I call him that b/c I see him all the time in the hotel. At one point we finally introduced ourselves. When he introduced himself, he said "Hi, I'm Milton. I'm an investment banker from California." I replied, "Hi, I'm Emel. I'm a supermodel from Australia." Ok, I didn't really say that but I wanted to because to me Investment Banker is just a made up profession that people use to make it sound like they make a lot of money. It probably didn't help Milton's cause that he's the second investment banker from California that I've met. But he is nice enough and we talked for a while in the hotel lobby on Friday night. And just to make things more exciting, I made up all the facts about my life. I have a pretty good imagination if I do say so myself.

Saturday was rainy so I spent most of the day inside. You don't realize how much the long hours you put in takes out of you until you actually have time to breathe. I think I took 3 naps on Saturday and still fell asleep with no problems at night. One of the guys from my audit team picked me up that night and took me to the area that is comparable to the Michigan Avenue of Chicago except that it's more in the shape of a square then a long street. We walked around for a while and window shopped. Then we went to a restaurant called Ritz where I indulged in one of the most delicous ice cream sundaes I've ever had. I ended up going for a run when I got back to the hotel to make up for it but since it had been raining and the air was cool, that was actually quite enjoyable as well.

Sunday morning, Junior, the guy that drove me from the airport to my hotel when I arrived picked me up at 10 am and took me on a little tour of the coast. We drove to a city called Santos which has a great outlook to take pictures from. Unfortunately, it was a cloudy day so the pictures didn't turn out as great as I hoped but at least I have something to remember the trip by. We then went to Sao Vicente and drove through their downtown area until we got to the ferry. We took the ferry across a little channel of water to the city of Guaruja. We had lunch there and walked up and down the beach a little bit. The whole trip took about 7 hours and the time flew by! While the beaches were lovely and the people were fun to watch, I have to say that my favorite part was when we were walking above the beach and Junior held my camera for me. Apparently people are less likely to try and grab it from him then me which makes sense. Sometimes I wish I needed a bodyguard in Midland...and by sometimes, I mean all the time.


A realization that I had in my little beach excursion is that Brazilians are human after all. I decided that Sao Paulo is like New York in The Devil Wears Prada where the people are super skinny to fit in with the fast times of city life. But then when you travel to the smaller towns like the beach towns we went to, you see that not everyone looks like a swimsuit ad. Now, I can't speak for Rio itself, but not every beach in Brazil is a topless one. And really, I noticed that women kept their tops on but wore skimpy little bottoms. I took a picture. Unfortunately it's not of the most flattering woman but in a way if proves both points I made in this paragraph. I'll be sure to post that when I get back.

Monday, one of the guys came to pick me up in the afternoon to take me shopping. After almost 6 hours, I'm almost finished with all my souvenier shopping! I got the jersey I wanted (with my last name on the back!) and some brand new Havaianas. I also got a sweatshirt to remember the trip by. I also got to try this delicious Argentinian cookie called something that sounds like "alphahora". Good things were happening on Monday! Not to mention that I got a free holiday by being on this audit!

Things to look forward to this week: We're hopefully still planning on going to a steakhouse/bbq. And we're going to a soccer/futebol game tomorrow of Brazil vs. some other Latin American country! I can't remember which one at the moment. I hope everyone had a great weekend!

You Know it's a Good Night When You Learn a New Dirty Joke

I'd like to start this entry out with a funny thing one of my co-workers told me.

"Dyslexic devil followers worship Santa." Apparently he once saw it on a bumper sticker in Midland and I can't help but say that I found it quite amusing.

Last night the boys took me to an Italian restaurant called Familia Manchini. It was absolutely divine. Basically you pick whatever type of pasta you want and then you pick your sauce and they bring you a giant portion of it. We got this ravioli that was stuffed with cheese and basil with a 4 cheese sauce. It was by no means good for you but it was one of the best meals of my life. They also had a great antipasto buffet where you can get whatever you want and they just charge you based on the weight of your plate. They have all sorts of stuff from sun-dried tomatoes to humus to baked cloves of garlic to tons of different kinds of olives to aritichokes to huge blocks of cheese that you cut off as much as you want. And they even had some eggplant dishes! I was surprised to find that eggplant is quite common here on salad bars and it's been quite enjoyable since it's one of my favorite vegetables (even though a few years ago I found out that it's related to the tabacco plant and has absolutely no nutritional value).

Of course, even though after the antipasto and the pasta were completely fulfilling, you can't turn down the offer of something nicknamed "the chocolate volcano". Well, at least I can't. I have to say that it was my favorite part of the whole meal.

The craziest thing about the whole dinner last night was when we ate. We didn't leave the office until about 8:30. We had to stop and get gas and then the first place we went to there was a 2 hour wait for standing room so we didn't actually get to the restaurant until 1o:30 and we didn't even get our food until after 11. This in itself was ridiculous b/c who eats dinner at 11? I'll tell you who? The people who got there before the people who showed up at 12 as we were asking for our check! I mean, I know it's not uncommon to eat a late dinner here but midnight! That's just nuts!

The experience overall was delightful! I even learned a new joke but I don't want to ruin it by typing it out on the blog. Plus it'll be way more fun for me if I can tell it several different times so please ask me about the snake bite joke next time you talk to me. :)

The weekend plans are still somewhat up in the air. Because we've put in so many hours this week it was decided that we can wrap up earlier today and enjoy some time at Santo Antonio (the really fun happy hour bar). In my mind, you can't go wrong with less work and more happy hours. One of the things that I'm really looking forward to is Sunday. The guys have previous engagements so I'm on my own for the day and so I don't have to sit all day in the hotel, they are hiring someone, a bodyguard if you will, to take me out for the day. It's like a dream come true. Of course, I'm going to live that up for all it's worth, wear my giant sunglasses (rain or shine) and pretend I'm someone super famous. I can't wait!

I hope you all have a great weekend! For all the girls going to Purdue for Grand Prix, have so much fun! I wish I could be there to see you all!

Can I Buy You A Drink?

Well, we're coming up towards the end of week two! I can't believe how fast time is flying by. I guess that's a good thing b/c normally it's about this time that I start to get sick of being away from home. But so far, so good.

This audit is keeping us very busy this week. We've started working 13 hour days which means I don't get back to the hotel until after 9pm. Now, Brazil is one of those countries where it's common to eat really late. I just can't figure out how they can eat so late and still manage to wait two hours until they go to bed. And if they don't wait two hours, then how do they manage to stay so thin? Maybe it's good genes.

Last night I got back to the hotel at 9 and was famished so I decided a quick bowl of soup in the restaurant wouldn't kill me. I grabbed my book (I'm currently reading "Devil in the White City") so I'd have something to do while I sat there waiting and went down to the restaurant. The waiter came and took my order and I was sitting there nicely keeping to myself when the waiter brought over another girl and said something to her in Portuguese which she then translated to English as "The man over there would like to buy you a glass of wine. Would you prefer red or white?" I look over and sure enough the guy a few tables over is smiling and waving at me. Normally this would be quite flattering...except that this guy was over 50.

I still accepted because I can't turn down a free drink. Of course the guy took that as an invitation to come talk to me and told me his life story while I waited for my soup...and also while I ate it. This story included how much money he's making these days (which of course is a lot b/c what man would come over and tell me how broke he is after buying me a drink?), the brief affair he had with his 28 year-old former secretary, and how much he travels all over the world for his job. He also kept telling me that it was his last night and he would be leaving in the morning. I don't know if he was expecting me to say "hey baby, why do you let me show you a good time on your last night" or what but I just smiled and wished him a nice trip home.

I finally left the restaurant over an hour later thinking that getting soup was a bad idea b/c I was going to be exhausted the next day. While wine is a great way to help you sleep, it's not always easy to wake up in the morning after drinking it. So I went to the elevators to go up to my room and a huge group of people arrived from outside at the same time. I let them take the first elevator and waited for the second one. There was another guy waiting as well and it was THIS guy that I fell in love with. He saw my book and was like "the devil?" so I held it up so he could see the whole title and understand that I wasn't some sort of Satan worshipping freak. We talked briefly about the book. Meanwhile the elevator arrived and I'm staying on the second floor so it was a short trip up together. No time to ask "what's your name?", "want to have dinner tomorrow?", let alone "will you marry me?". All I really know about him is that he speaks English and is staying on the 6th floor.

A random fact about Sao Paulo is that it has the second highest population of Japanese people in the world. Can you guess where the highest population is? I haven't figured out why the Japanese people chose Sao Paulo. I mean, it's a great city but it's not really in a close proximity to Japan. I guess that's just another one of life's little mysteries...or something like that.

I think that's all I have to report for this week. Keep your fingers crossed that I run into the love of my life again in the hotel. Maybe this time on the way down to dinner! Though it's random, I always try to remember how I meet people so that if I do end up marrying them, I know what to tell my kids. If it were this guy, I could say "We met in front of an elevator...". Maybe not the most exciting story but I have a good imagination and I could spruce it up a bit.

Only one more day of work until the 3 day weekend--for me at least! :) I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Is it Possible to Hire Someone to Carry You Around For a Day?

Well week two is off to a rough start. I woke up this morning and it was pouring rain. The good news is that I love sleeping during thunderstorms. The bad news is that this urge to sleep made me decide to skip my morning workout. More good news...I'm not too worried about it.

The weekend was pretty chill and enjoyable. Friday night we went out to dinner at a pizza place. The pizza is surprisingly extremely delicious here. More then I expected. After dinner, I went back to the hotel and the guys did there own thing. We actually ended up staying in the office pretty late on Friday so we were all pretty beat. Saturday I enjoyed sleeping in and then just hung out around the hotel for the day. I attempted to study for my auditing exam that I'll be taking in June but it's so hard to focus when the sun is shining and there are tons of cars driving by and lots of people to watch.

Saturday night I went out to dinner and a bar with the two guys from my audit team and the girlfriend of one of them. The idea of the bar was pretty sweet. You paid 30 reias (about $22) as you went in and then all your drinks for the rest of the night were paid for. Kinda like New Years in Chicago on a smaller level...and the drinks here were stronger (but they were in smaller cups). My favorite part was that they had all different flavors of Caipirinhas so I had one kiwi, one passion fruit, and one pineapple. All delicious. The bar also had a decent sized dance floor where they played a lot of American songs so that was fun for me too. They even played "Your Love"! It's like I never even left the U.S.

At one point in the night I went up to the bar with one of my co-workers. He ordered my drink for me since he can speak Portuguese and in the meantime I just hung out near the bar. Some guy pushed past me and some other girl to get a drink and this girl must have heard me speak English to my co-worker b/c she turned to me and said "some of the guys here can be such jerks!". I laughed and we talked for a little bit and she asked me where I was from. The "jerk" heard us talking and turned around and was like "Where are you from?" I replied Indiana and then he said, "What city in Mexico are you from?" WTF? I couldn't figure out if he thought I said Mexico instead of Indiana (b/c they sound so much alike) or if he like the rest of world assumed I was Mexican.

Sunday was pretty much the same as Saturday. I sat outside for most of the day. Unfortunately the area by the pool is shaded by a lot of trees so it doesn't get much sun. So instead I sat in the hotel restaurant's outside seating area. It works just as well except for that it's not really acceptable to wear a swimsuit there. The best discovery of the weekend though was that I have free internet in the lobby.

This morning I had a meeting with one of the leaders here regarding the audit. He noticed while I was taking notes that I am left handed. He then proceeded to tell me that it's a known fact that left handed people are more intelligent to which I modestly replied "I know." :) He then went on to say however, that sometimes it's more difficult to form relationships with left handed people b/c they tend to be very strong minded and can be very intimidating but he didn't find this to be the case with me. We actually talked about this for a few minutes and he said that no one is perfect so that's why it's okay that left handers aren't always easy to form relationships with. Of course in my mind I was thinking "Since he said that he doesn't find me as someone difficult to form a relationship with, does that mean I'm perfect?" ;)

I've watched a few movies on tv while I've been here and I decided that they only play the absolute worst movies here. Half the movies I come across on tv are ones that I've never even seen the previews for. For instance, this weekend I watched a soccer movie with the kid that played Ross's son Ben on Friends and George Patrick Owens (I think that was the name). Awful. I also watched "She's the Man" with Amanda Bynes which is also terrible and yet somehow that was the second time I've seen it. My suspicions that they do play the worst movies was confirmed last night when I was flipping through the channels and the movie "Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World" was on. WORST MOVIE EVER.

Well, that's all for now. Keep your fingers crossed that it stops raining by this weekend!!

Sábado is Portuguese for Saturday

Happy Sexta to all of you!! That means Happy Friday for my non-Portuguese speaking friends. Last night on the way home I learned all the days of the week. I also learned how to say "Crap" and what to say if someone cuts you off while driving. You know, the essentials.

Well I've almost made through an entire week of work. Today is going to be the hardest day though. Last night the guys took me out to a bar called Santo Antonio. There we met up with some IS people from work. Everyone was super friendly and I got to try lots of new things. They ordered fried Provalone cheese balls, this Brazilian thing called a Pastel which is like a fried pillow of dough with either cheese or meat in it, and this other thing called Carne Seca which is basically beef jerky that is shredded and put on a hot skillet with oil and onions. Everything was delicious! I also got to try a Caipirinha which is a drink made with a Brazilian liquor called Cachaça, limes, and sugar. I wasn't sure if I was going to like it...but I did!!

With all the eating, drinking and socializing that was going on, the time was flying by and at some point we decided to wrap things up there and by "wrap up", they meant order one more round. And then because they want you to come back and drink again, the bar gave us a round of smaller glasses of beer on the house. Once we left there, we decided to have our last drink at a bar down the street...and by bar, I mean gas station. But they apparently sell beer and they have tables outside. I even met the owner b/c the guys go there so often. Very random but really fun! Needless to say, that since I didn't get dropped off at the hotel until midnight, I didn't make it to the gym at 5:30 this morning. But I thought it was good that I still set my alarm to see if maybe I could do it. I give myself points for trying.

One thing that I loved about the bar is that they have mouthwash in the bathrooms! There's a bottle with a pump and then a bunch of little cups next to it so you just pump some for yourself and then throw your cup away when you're done! I was told it's there for 2 reasons. 1. In case you get stopped by the cops on your way home (which is silly b/c mouthwash has alcohol in it) and 2. For people going home to their spouses, they can just say "oh, i was working late at the office". I didn't really have to worry about either of these things but I used it anyway b/c it was there and I could.

As the days go by, I discover more and more things that I want to do while I'm here. Here is my list.
1. Go to a Brazilian steakhouse (which they call BBQ).
2. Go to the street fair that they have on Wednesdays.
3. Drink coconut water
4. Buy some Havaianas
5. Get a soccer jersey (for the Sao Paulo team of course which I was told is the best team in the state of Sao Paulo--and no, it's not the only one.) I should explain that I am in the city of Sao Paulo that sits in the state of Sao Paulo. There are 26 states in Brazil total.

I think there were more things on that list last night but I've forgotten some of them. Maybe a trip to the beach if there is time!

I miss and love you all!