Friday
You Know it's a Good Night When You Learn a New Dirty Joke
"Dyslexic devil followers worship Santa." Apparently he once saw it on a bumper sticker in Midland and I can't help but say that I found it quite amusing.
Last night the boys took me to an Italian restaurant called Familia Manchini. It was absolutely divine. Basically you pick whatever type of pasta you want and then you pick your sauce and they bring you a giant portion of it. We got this ravioli that was stuffed with cheese and basil with a 4 cheese sauce. It was by no means good for you but it was one of the best meals of my life. They also had a great antipasto buffet where you can get whatever you want and they just charge you based on the weight of your plate. They have all sorts of stuff from sun-dried tomatoes to humus to baked cloves of garlic to tons of different kinds of olives to aritichokes to huge blocks of cheese that you cut off as much as you want. And they even had some eggplant dishes! I was surprised to find that eggplant is quite common here on salad bars and it's been quite enjoyable since it's one of my favorite vegetables (even though a few years ago I found out that it's related to the tabacco plant and has absolutely no nutritional value).
Of course, even though after the antipasto and the pasta were completely fulfilling, you can't turn down the offer of something nicknamed "the chocolate volcano". Well, at least I can't. I have to say that it was my favorite part of the whole meal.
The craziest thing about the whole dinner last night was when we ate. We didn't leave the office until about 8:30. We had to stop and get gas and then the first place we went to there was a 2 hour wait for standing room so we didn't actually get to the restaurant until 1o:30 and we didn't even get our food until after 11. This in itself was ridiculous b/c who eats dinner at 11? I'll tell you who? The people who got there before the people who showed up at 12 as we were asking for our check! I mean, I know it's not uncommon to eat a late dinner here but midnight! That's just nuts!
The experience overall was delightful! I even learned a new joke but I don't want to ruin it by typing it out on the blog. Plus it'll be way more fun for me if I can tell it several different times so please ask me about the snake bite joke next time you talk to me. :)
The weekend plans are still somewhat up in the air. Because we've put in so many hours this week it was decided that we can wrap up earlier today and enjoy some time at Santo Antonio (the really fun happy hour bar). In my mind, you can't go wrong with less work and more happy hours. One of the things that I'm really looking forward to is Sunday. The guys have previous engagements so I'm on my own for the day and so I don't have to sit all day in the hotel, they are hiring someone, a bodyguard if you will, to take me out for the day. It's like a dream come true. Of course, I'm going to live that up for all it's worth, wear my giant sunglasses (rain or shine) and pretend I'm someone super famous. I can't wait!
I hope you all have a great weekend! For all the girls going to Purdue for Grand Prix, have so much fun! I wish I could be there to see you all!
Thursday
Can I Buy You A Drink?
This audit is keeping us very busy this week. We've started working 13 hour days which means I don't get back to the hotel until after 9pm. Now, Brazil is one of those countries where it's common to eat really late. I just can't figure out how they can eat so late and still manage to wait two hours until they go to bed. And if they don't wait two hours, then how do they manage to stay so thin? Maybe it's good genes.
Last night I got back to the hotel at 9 and was famished so I decided a quick bowl of soup in the restaurant wouldn't kill me. I grabbed my book (I'm currently reading "Devil in the White City") so I'd have something to do while I sat there waiting and went down to the restaurant. The waiter came and took my order and I was sitting there nicely keeping to myself when the waiter brought over another girl and said something to her in Portuguese which she then translated to English as "The man over there would like to buy you a glass of wine. Would you prefer red or white?" I look over and sure enough the guy a few tables over is smiling and waving at me. Normally this would be quite flattering...except that this guy was over 50.
I still accepted because I can't turn down a free drink. Of course the guy took that as an invitation to come talk to me and told me his life story while I waited for my soup...and also while I ate it. This story included how much money he's making these days (which of course is a lot b/c what man would come over and tell me how broke he is after buying me a drink?), the brief affair he had with his 28 year-old former secretary, and how much he travels all over the world for his job. He also kept telling me that it was his last night and he would be leaving in the morning. I don't know if he was expecting me to say "hey baby, why do you let me show you a good time on your last night" or what but I just smiled and wished him a nice trip home.
I finally left the restaurant over an hour later thinking that getting soup was a bad idea b/c I was going to be exhausted the next day. While wine is a great way to help you sleep, it's not always easy to wake up in the morning after drinking it. So I went to the elevators to go up to my room and a huge group of people arrived from outside at the same time. I let them take the first elevator and waited for the second one. There was another guy waiting as well and it was THIS guy that I fell in love with. He saw my book and was like "the devil?" so I held it up so he could see the whole title and understand that I wasn't some sort of Satan worshipping freak. We talked briefly about the book. Meanwhile the elevator arrived and I'm staying on the second floor so it was a short trip up together. No time to ask "what's your name?", "want to have dinner tomorrow?", let alone "will you marry me?". All I really know about him is that he speaks English and is staying on the 6th floor.
A random fact about Sao Paulo is that it has the second highest population of Japanese people in the world. Can you guess where the highest population is? I haven't figured out why the Japanese people chose Sao Paulo. I mean, it's a great city but it's not really in a close proximity to Japan. I guess that's just another one of life's little mysteries...or something like that.
I think that's all I have to report for this week. Keep your fingers crossed that I run into the love of my life again in the hotel. Maybe this time on the way down to dinner! Though it's random, I always try to remember how I meet people so that if I do end up marrying them, I know what to tell my kids. If it were this guy, I could say "We met in front of an elevator...". Maybe not the most exciting story but I have a good imagination and I could spruce it up a bit.
Only one more day of work until the 3 day weekend--for me at least! :) I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
Monday
Is it Possible to Hire Someone to Carry You Around For a Day?
The weekend was pretty chill and enjoyable. Friday night we went out to dinner at a pizza place. The pizza is surprisingly extremely delicious here. More then I expected. After dinner, I went back to the hotel and the guys did there own thing. We actually ended up staying in the office pretty late on Friday so we were all pretty beat. Saturday I enjoyed sleeping in and then just hung out around the hotel for the day. I attempted to study for my auditing exam that I'll be taking in June but it's so hard to focus when the sun is shining and there are tons of cars driving by and lots of people to watch.
Saturday night I went out to dinner and a bar with the two guys from my audit team and the girlfriend of one of them. The idea of the bar was pretty sweet. You paid 30 reias (about $22) as you went in and then all your drinks for the rest of the night were paid for. Kinda like New Years in Chicago on a smaller level...and the drinks here were stronger (but they were in smaller cups). My favorite part was that they had all different flavors of Caipirinhas so I had one kiwi, one passion fruit, and one pineapple. All delicious. The bar also had a decent sized dance floor where they played a lot of American songs so that was fun for me too. They even played "Your Love"! It's like I never even left the U.S.
At one point in the night I went up to the bar with one of my co-workers. He ordered my drink for me since he can speak Portuguese and in the meantime I just hung out near the bar. Some guy pushed past me and some other girl to get a drink and this girl must have heard me speak English to my co-worker b/c she turned to me and said "some of the guys here can be such jerks!". I laughed and we talked for a little bit and she asked me where I was from. The "jerk" heard us talking and turned around and was like "Where are you from?" I replied Indiana and then he said, "What city in Mexico are you from?" WTF? I couldn't figure out if he thought I said Mexico instead of Indiana (b/c they sound so much alike) or if he like the rest of world assumed I was Mexican.
Sunday was pretty much the same as Saturday. I sat outside for most of the day. Unfortunately the area by the pool is shaded by a lot of trees so it doesn't get much sun. So instead I sat in the hotel restaurant's outside seating area. It works just as well except for that it's not really acceptable to wear a swimsuit there. The best discovery of the weekend though was that I have free internet in the lobby.
This morning I had a meeting with one of the leaders here regarding the audit. He noticed while I was taking notes that I am left handed. He then proceeded to tell me that it's a known fact that left handed people are more intelligent to which I modestly replied "I know." :) He then went on to say however, that sometimes it's more difficult to form relationships with left handed people b/c they tend to be very strong minded and can be very intimidating but he didn't find this to be the case with me. We actually talked about this for a few minutes and he said that no one is perfect so that's why it's okay that left handers aren't always easy to form relationships with. Of course in my mind I was thinking "Since he said that he doesn't find me as someone difficult to form a relationship with, does that mean I'm perfect?" ;)
I've watched a few movies on tv while I've been here and I decided that they only play the absolute worst movies here. Half the movies I come across on tv are ones that I've never even seen the previews for. For instance, this weekend I watched a soccer movie with the kid that played Ross's son Ben on Friends and George Patrick Owens (I think that was the name). Awful. I also watched "She's the Man" with Amanda Bynes which is also terrible and yet somehow that was the second time I've seen it. My suspicions that they do play the worst movies was confirmed last night when I was flipping through the channels and the movie "Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World" was on. WORST MOVIE EVER.
Well, that's all for now. Keep your fingers crossed that it stops raining by this weekend!!
Friday
Sábado is Portuguese for Saturday
Well I've almost made through an entire week of work. Today is going to be the hardest day though. Last night the guys took me out to a bar called Santo Antonio. There we met up with some IS people from work. Everyone was super friendly and I got to try lots of new things. They ordered fried Provalone cheese balls, this Brazilian thing called a Pastel which is like a fried pillow of dough with either cheese or meat in it, and this other thing called Carne Seca which is basically beef jerky that is shredded and put on a hot skillet with oil and onions. Everything was delicious! I also got to try a Caipirinha which is a drink made with a Brazilian liquor called Cachaça, limes, and sugar. I wasn't sure if I was going to like it...but I did!!
With all the eating, drinking and socializing that was going on, the time was flying by and at some point we decided to wrap things up there and by "wrap up", they meant order one more round. And then because they want you to come back and drink again, the bar gave us a round of smaller glasses of beer on the house. Once we left there, we decided to have our last drink at a bar down the street...and by bar, I mean gas station. But they apparently sell beer and they have tables outside. I even met the owner b/c the guys go there so often. Very random but really fun! Needless to say, that since I didn't get dropped off at the hotel until midnight, I didn't make it to the gym at 5:30 this morning. But I thought it was good that I still set my alarm to see if maybe I could do it. I give myself points for trying.
One thing that I loved about the bar is that they have mouthwash in the bathrooms! There's a bottle with a pump and then a bunch of little cups next to it so you just pump some for yourself and then throw your cup away when you're done! I was told it's there for 2 reasons. 1. In case you get stopped by the cops on your way home (which is silly b/c mouthwash has alcohol in it) and 2. For people going home to their spouses, they can just say "oh, i was working late at the office". I didn't really have to worry about either of these things but I used it anyway b/c it was there and I could.
As the days go by, I discover more and more things that I want to do while I'm here. Here is my list.
1. Go to a Brazilian steakhouse (which they call BBQ).
2. Go to the street fair that they have on Wednesdays.
3. Drink coconut water
4. Buy some Havaianas
5. Get a soccer jersey (for the Sao Paulo team of course which I was told is the best team in the state of Sao Paulo--and no, it's not the only one.) I should explain that I am in the city of Sao Paulo that sits in the state of Sao Paulo. There are 26 states in Brazil total.
I think there were more things on that list last night but I've forgotten some of them. Maybe a trip to the beach if there is time!
I miss and love you all!
Wednesday
So much to say!
First off, I'd like to share a random story. On the plane on the way over, they were passing out newspapers and I took a USA Today. As I was attempting to do the crossword, I noticed that one of the clues was "Kappa Kappa Gamma women". Possibly one of the top 5 highlights of the flight. Don't worry, I saved it.

If Dow is any sort of representation of the rest of the country, I'm starting to figure out why Brazilian women manage to stay so thin. First off, there is a scale by the door to the Dow cafeteria, so you can actually weigh yourself before you go in. The guys on my audit tried to convince me that you were charged for your meal based on consumption. They said that you were weighed before and after your meal and charged based on the difference. I didn't fall for that one. Later in the week, I also notice that there is a scale in the women's restroom! And they have calorie counts on all the food items at the breakfast buffet at my hotel and on the lunch menu at the Dow cafeteria. They don't tell you the serving size that the calories apply to but I think it's interesting that they're there.
Another thing about this place is that everyone brushes there teeth after lunch. And because it's such a common practice, they actually have shelves in the bathroom that people keep a little kit in with their toothbrush and toothpaste. Seeing as I'm one of those nerds that keeps a toothbrush in her desk at work, I kinda wish that we had the same practice in Midland.
Every day after lunch people take a walk around the block. Dow is in one of the business districts of Sao Paulo (it's so big that I have to assume there is more then one) and it's surround by other company buildings like Deloitte, Pfizer, Bayer, and some big buildings with a lot of offices. And amongst all these buildings there is also...a Hooters. I find that very amusing. It's kind of like when they build a Hooters next to Ethan Allen in some city that I've been in.
The people of my hotel have figured out that I'm not Brazilian (I think my lack of Portuguese gave it away) but rather then speaking to me in English, they now speak to me in Spanish. It doesn't really bother me but I think it's funny.
When I went down to breakfast this morning, the restaurant was packed. I saw some guy wearing a Planet Hollywood shirt...or at least that's what I thought it was until I noticed about 50 other people were wearing the same shirt. And what I thought was the Planet Hollywood logo was really a globe with some red writing on it. I think the conference has something to do with technology.
Wednesdays and Saturdays in this country are Black Beans and Rice Day. Seriously. So that's what was for lunch today. I guess the real meal is actually served with pork but here they seperate it out so I was able to try it. It was actually pretty good. The beans were way better then the ones I had in Mexico. Rice is pretty much just rice. So I can say that I've had my first traditional Brazilian meal! How exciting!!
Well, that's all for now. I hope that all is well back where you guys are reading this!
Monday
Crossing the Equator for the first time!!
I have made it safely to Sao Paulo and already am enjoying every second.
The trip started out wonderfully! I managed to kill my 5 hour layover in Chicago with almost no trouble. I made a few phone calls, ate at Wolfgang Pucks, walked to my terminal instead of taking the shuttle service that United offers and before I knew it, it was time to board!
I realized that flying business class (or most preferably first class) is really the only way to fly. I think the guy next to me probably realized that I don't fly in business class that often when I took a picture of myself with my glass of champagne they gave me before the plane took off. And I'm pretty sure he thought I was really mature when I chose to watch Alvin and the Chipmunks as my inflight entertainment. In all fairness though, the only other moving that looked pleasing was Atonement and I've already seen (and read) it. But we got along nicely and if it weren't for me, he never would have figured out how to turn on his reading light or where to plug in his headphones.

I arrived on Sunday morning and made it through customs and immigration with no problems. I met the driver/bodyguard after customs and it made me wish that he was there to greet me when I arrived back in Midland too. There is just something special about having someone hold up a sign with your name on it. It was funny b/c the first question he asked me was "Do you speak Spanish?" and you would think that he would have asked "Do you speak Portuguese?" He did have pretty decent English though and he taught me some Portuguese on the way to the hotel. He looked like a proud father when I thanked him at the end of the trip by saying "obrigado".

My hotel is nice. My room is bigger then my room at home and it has a huge open space in front of the bed. I packed my workout DVDs thinking I probably wouldn't need them since the hotel website said that it came with a "fully-equipped gym". By that, they meant 2 treadmills and 10 sets of free weights. Wow. But the open space, dvds, and my laptop will do just fine for the days that I don't feel like running. AND I figured out how to use the SAP feature on the tv to make some of the dubbed over channels go back to English. That was a great discovery!
It's actually fall right now in Brazil so the weather has "cooled down" to the mid to upper 70s. The humidity is a bit intense but nothing I'd complain about. I'm just happy to be around palm trees. And to make things even better, the conference room I work in is warm too which almost never happens at any of the warm places I travel to!

The best part about this place--the men. I'd have to say that 80% of the people staying at my hotel are men. And 65% of those men are attractive and approximately between the ages 25 and 35. And they're business men so they have to wear suits. Even if I can't talk to them, it's a lot better then the senior citizens I shared my hotel with in Germany. And who knows, maybe some of them know English. It's only day 1 so I have plenty of time to find out. And I should also add that all the women here are beautiful or if they're not beautiful, they're at least thin. So most of the women here have at least something going for them.
Let see…at lunch I ate some fruit that the name to me sounds like "Khaki". It was delicious. I also had some sort of local soda that wasn't all that bad but I think I'll stick to water. They have free hot chocolate and coffee on every floor but I don't drink coffee and who drinks hot chocolate when it's 75 degrees outside (minus the cup I drank this morning just to be polite). And after lunch every day people take a 15 minute walk around the block to socialize. Also somewhere between 4:15 and 4:45 they have a snack break. But I found out that's because most people work till 7 or 7:30. And apparently, we'll be working until 9 which means we don't eat until after 9. So some things will take getting used to!
Well, that's all for this post. I miss you all and I wish that some of you could have come down to play!
Tuesday
Back on American Soil
Nothing too exciting happened towards the end except for on Wednesday when we went to lunch and found (to my delight) they had CHEESEBURGERS and FRENCH FRIES!! How fabulous!
Wednesday evening when we got back to the hotel, I finally stopped procrastinating and went and took some pictures around Tlaxcala. Our hotel is actually in a cute area. I had seen some stairs I wanted to climb so...I did. And when I got to the top...well, it wasn't that great so I took some pictures and came right back down again.
One thing that's not so fun about these business trips and I'm usually in the pictures by myself. And 90% of the time i'm taking them with me in it by just extending my arm. So, when I finally post pictures, I would like to say that I actually did go to these places and didn't just photoshop myself into them.
We stayed in Mexico City on Thursday night but we didn't really have enough time to go sightsee. We did eat at a nice Italian restaurant so I was thrilled to have the option of eating something other then Mexican. Somehow my second meal in the U.S. later that weekend ended up being Chipotle so the good news is that I still love TexMex!
Friday I managed to make it all the way to Kansas City. There is just something so great about being back in the U.S. The weekend was a blast and of was so great to see Ben, Natalie, Bill, Blake, and Ryan. And of course, I'm sure they would all appreciate a shout out to the fine people at Waffle House without which we might not have made it through the weekend.


Sunday morning, Ben and Bill packed up and piled into the car for the drive back to Minneapolis. I tried to get permission from Northwest to skip the first leg of my flight so I could have some roadtrip fun but that wasn't allowed. Unfortunately, my flight to Minneapolis out of KC was later cancelled (only after spending the entire day in the airport of course!) and it was at that moment that I was wishing more then ever that I had been in the car with Ben and Bill who were less then an hour away from the Minneapolis airport. So I ended up staying ANOTHER night in KC which wouldn't have been that bad if it hadn't been 3 weeks since I'd last been back in my own bed. But I lived to tell about it so that's the important thing.
I was thrilled to be back in Midland for about 15 hours and then I walked out to my car this morning to find that it had rained and my car was iced over…fabulous. Sometimes it's a toss up between food that makes you sick and cold weather! But as long as it doesn't snow during the next 3 weeks I'll be okay. I leave for Sao Paulo, Brazil on April 5!
